Common feelings

Parents react very differently when they learn that their child has a hearing loss. These reactions can be due to a variety of feelings evoked when the child is diagnosed.

Such strong and mixed feelings are often challenging and difficult to tackle and they can seem chaotic and even unfamiliar and intimidating.

However it is important to remember that these feelings are quite common in parents with newly diagnosed children with hearing loss and are a natural and expected reaction.

The feelings

These feelings can present themselves in individual patterns and sequences. Some of the most common feelings you may experience include:

A feeling of inadequacy occurs if you as a parent have difficulty seeing how you can deal with the many challenges. The wish to re-establish a “normal” family life is quite common. This feeling may be so strong that it becomes a keen desire for “someone” to save family life and remove the child’s hearing loss.

Guilt is common in parents with a newly diagnosed hearing impaired child. This may be particularly strong in the mother. She may feel responsible for the hearing loss and reflect back on her pregnancy to find a possible reason.

Grief and anger experienced by many parents when the expectation of “the perfect child” during pregnancy is not fulfilled when or after the child is born. Some parents may feel cheated because their child is born with hearing loss.

Vulnerability and a feeling of life being fragile can arise when parents are informed of their child’s hearing loss. They may feel exposed and lonely.

Confusion can arise, especially when trying to take in all the new information and terminology. Some parents feel they lose control and can find it difficult to understand what hearing healthcare professionals are talking about.

Relief may occur because the parents with the diagnosis “hearing loss” now have an explanation of their child´s behaviour, which suddenly makes sense.  With the diagnosis it is possible for the parents to take action and help their child.

If you experience any of the feelings described above, it may help to talk about them, for example with a professional psychologist or therapist. Valuable help is often also available from the professional treating your child or industry associations for hearing impaired children.